Heero's Chocolate Easter Bunny
by JC Maxwell-Yuy
Summary: Happy Easter minna-san! OK, here's the plot! It's Easter and SOMEBODY is stealing chocolate bunny ears from everyone, including Zechs and Treize! *sequel posted*
1. Heero's Chocolate Easter Bunny

Heero's Chocolate Easter Bunny

By: JC Maxwell-Yuy

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JC: Here it is! My GW Easter fic! Bet you thought I forgot about Easter huh guys?

Duo: Ohhh… I don't feel so good.

Quatre: Promise us… you'll never do that again… (turns blue and runs off to the bathroom)

JC: K'so! And I wanted Q-chan to do the disclaimer.

Une: Then move aside. Disclaimer: JC doesn't own Gundam Wing in this god-forsaken reality, and never will. (turns into Saint Anne and begins sparkling)

Saint Anne: Now let's all read the fic… and be peaceful… (dons glasses and stops sparkling)

Une: OR ELSE!

JC: I knew I could count on you. Anyways, Happy Easter minna-san!

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"Oh Hee-chan!" Duo cried out on Sunday morning. "Do you know what today is?"  


"…" Heero ignored his lover and returned to typing on his laptop.

"It's EASTER! And that means that you have to give me lots of chocolate, and kisses, and presents, and you have to take me out to dinner, and…" Duo continued to rave on about what Heero could do that he failed to notice Heero had gotten up and left until… "And you can also buy me… Heero? Heero? HEERO!"

"Ne Trowa?" Wufei mumbled as he stirred in bed.

"What is it koi?" Trowa turned over and kissed Wufei's rather big, hair-receding, forehead. (Now THAT really ruined the mood, didn't it?) 

"I want a chocolate bunny…" Wufei got an unusual happy, happy, look on his face.

"I'd rather… have a chocolate Wufei." Trowa pulled a bottle of Hershey's Chocolate Syrup™ and popped the cap off.

"Mmm… even better." Wufei purred, wide-awake now.

"They're at it again." Duo glanced at the trashcan, filled with various bottles of syrup: strawberry, butterscotch, raspberry, blueberry, and a bottle of Vermont-Maple-Syrup™. "Why can't you be as interesting with our relationship as Trowa is?" 

"Hn." Heero didn't look up, so Duo decided to use his secret weapon.

"Oh Hee-chan~! Lookie what I have!" Duo reached behind him, and pulled out…

"THAT'S THE BIGGEST CHOCOLATE BUNNY I'VE EVER SEEN!" Quatre popped out of nowhere. "Can I eat the ears?"

"No!" Duo pulled the bunny away from Quatre. "Hee-chan has to eat it with me."

"I will have those bunny ears!" Quatre swore, and then ran off to plot how to steal the ears.

"You know, I never thought Quatre… was like that." Duo placed the bunny next to Heero. "Come on Heero. Just one bite." Duo was about to break off a piece when…

A giant rubber hand reached in and grabbed the bunny. Outside, Quatre laughed maniacally as he used his extending-grabber-hand-thingy-to-steal-chocolate-Easter-bunnies™ to reel in his catch. "Ah yes… come to me, my soon to be earless one."

That made Heero snap. "My bunny…" he whispered. "My bunny…"

"Oh no. Heero, please don't kill Quatre. I can get another one and…" Duo's eye's widened in surprise when a small tear escaped and dripped down Heero's cheek.

"Heero." Duo wrapped his arms around his lover as Heero began to shake.

"Duo… it's all right… I just… I just… never had a chocolate bunny before… gomen… I was so mean to you this morning."

"It's OK." Duo spun Heero around and grinned. "I bought two bunnies anyway!" he whipped out another chocolate bunny from behind his back.

Heero's eyes started getting all teary again. "Arigato… koi…"

"Anytime… I just wish I knew sooner that you were sensitive to chocolate bunnies." Duo smirked.

Heero scowled and put the bunny down. "Oh really. Well how's this for sensitive?!" he pressed his lips against Duo's, and the two started making out, not noticing that Trowa had came downstairs, butt naked, saw the chocolate bunny just sitting on the counter, and took it back upstairs with him.

Meanwhile, Treize and Zechs were having a lovely Easter picnic. "Ah, this is the life." Treize mummered as he gestured for Lady Une to pour him more lemonade. "Oh Zechs. I got you a chocolate bunny."

"Really Treize, you shouldn't have. I couldn't possibly…" 

"Oh, don't be silly. This is to thank you for all you've done for me so far." Treize reached into a package and pulled out a… "WHAT HAPPENED?!" Treize stared in horror at the earless chocolate bunny.

"Uh… sir?" Une raised her eyebrow. 

"Oh this is terrible! Bring me the back-up bunny Une!" Treize put the earless bunny back in the bag and took the next package from Une.

"You had a BACK-UP bunny?!" Zechs said incredulously.

"Of course! Anything for… AH!" Treize held up yet another earless bunny. "UNE! WHAT IS THIS!?"

"I have no idea sir. I just can't imagine what could have happened to the ears." Une took the bunny away.

"At least we still have the Easter egg hunt. Une, are all the eggs hidden?" 

"Easter… Egg… Hunt???" Zechs almost fell over.

The next day, a Monday, a workday…

"This is really odd." Relena said as she flipped through her newspaper. "It says here that all the ears from chocolate Easter bunnies have mysteriously vanished yesterday."

"Really? How strange." Dorothy sipped her tea and looked at her chocolate bunny. She'd eaten half the bunny already, and now it was beginning to smell a bit. 

"Look at this. In another article, it says that the heir to the Winner fortune has mysteriously turned up… in the hospital from severe stomach pains." Relena raised her eyebrow. Dorothy raised both… and nearly put out Pargan's eyes… if he had any to begin with. 

"Quatre R. Winner, you naughty, naughty boy."

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JC: So how was that? 

Heero: You made it too sappy. 

Duo: I feel much better now that I realize that I didn't actually eat any bunnies.

JC: … maybe I should have made him the culprit and a 4X1.

Duo: You wouldn't.

JC: Poor Quatre. I hope he isn't traumatized from all this.

Heero: He'll live. But JC…

JC: Nani?

Heero: You owe me a chocolate bunny™.


	2. Say Bye to the Bunny

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Say Bye to the Bunny

By: JC Maxwell-Yuy

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JC: HHHEEEEYYY!!! Happy Easter 2002!

Duo: Please… not a repeat of last year.

Treize: But just in case… I bought all the chocolate bunnies in the world!

JC: Uh… how much did THAT cost?

Treize: My credit matters are none of your business!

Heero: He spent UMPH! (Treize gags Heero)

Wufei: Disclaimer: JC doesn't own Gundam Wing or any of its characters and never ever will.

JC: But I wish I did.

Treize: I won't buy us for you.

JC: But I wish you did.

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One year later… on the fateful day known as Easter, in which all went to hell the previous year, the day started off peacefully. 

There was no war… for the moment anyway. And Quatre R. Winner was still in a deep slumber in his room. That is until… the alarm clock went off and a powerful rock and spicy beat shook the entire mansion. 

"WWWWAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!" The blonde heir to the biggest fortune in the universe screamed and fell out of the bed. The alarm clock sported a little sign that said 'It's EASTER!'.

"WWWWAAAAAAAAAAAIIIII!!!" Another cry echoed through the house as Quatre dashed down the stairs and started searching everywhere for a chocolate bunny he could desecrate by stealing the ears. 

Meanwhile, Heero and Duo were still lounging in bed.

"Ne, Heero? Didn't something odd happen one year ago on this day?" Duo wondered sleepily.

"Hm? Oh… I think this was the day Quatre went insane and stole all the chocolate bunny ears." Heero replied and smacked Duo on the head. "Now go back to sleep."

Now that woke Duo up. The braided boy quickly jumped out of bed and dashed downstairs to find…

"AAAAHHH!!! THE EARS ARE GONE!"

Trowa Barton was awakened by a strange noise coming from the 'living room' of his trailer. The noises stopped instantly when he peered into the room. The room looked normal, his newest pet bunny was in the cage… but something was different about it… and then the chocolate bunny Catherine had bought looked a little funny. Upon further inspection…

"OH MY GOD! GET A VET! WE NEED TO REATTATCH SOME APPENDAGES!"

Dorothy Catalonia yawned and stretched. The day was joyous! The birds were singing, the sky was blue, her chocolate bunny sitting on her nightstand HAD SUDDENLY LOST IT'S EARS AND HAD ROACHES CRAWLING ALL OVER IT!

"AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!"

Lady Une checked out the security net again. The bunny was still safe inside the vault. Although Treize was dead, she vowed that this year NO ONE but her would lay hand on the chocolate bunny she had purchased. Finally, her boredom and hunger got the best of her. After deactivating fourteen different alarms, the vault lock was opened to find…

THUD!

Wufei unwrapped the top of his chocolate bunny. He smiled, for the bunny still had its ears. Quickly, he ate both of them… but then he noticed the bunny HAD NO FEET! Upon closer inspection, it appeared as if SOMEONE had eaten the ears and replaced them with the feet thinking he wouldn't notice.

"SALLY?! DID YOU DO THIS?" He yelled.

"Do WHAT?" Sally walked in and saw the state of the bunny… and then quickly grabbed hers.

"QUATRE!" they both screamed.

Quatre was very happy. Full and happy. However, as he pranced back to the mansion with huge chocolate stains on his shirt, the ground suddenly began to shake as four very angry Gundam pilots accompanied by several very PO'ed women stomped across the grass. 

"Uh… Hi everyone!" Quatre smiled.

"You… ate our bunny ears!" Heero accused.

"MY POOR BUNNY!" Trowa screamed, causing everyone to look at him strangely. "WHAT?!"

"Trowa… I think you should lie down a bit." Duo suggested. 

"NO! MY BUNNY! HOW COULD YOU QUATRE?!" Trowa cried, tears streaming down his face.

"But I don't…" Quatre started but was interrupted when a large plastic pink bunny suddenly rose from the ground.

"I AM… THE ALL POWERFUL… EASTER BUNNY!!!" the bunny declared, its voice shaking the ground and causing birds to fall out of trees. 

"The 'all powerful Easter bunny'?" Noin repeated, not impressed.

"BLEAH!" Une and Heero stuck out their tongues in disgust. 

"YOU, QUATRE RABERBA WINNER, HAVE DESECRATED CHOCOLATE BUNNIES INCESSANTLY!" the giant pink bunny screeched. "WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO SAY FOR YOURSELF?!"

"I… I…" Quatre stammered. "I'm SO SORRY! EVERYONE, PLEASE FORGIVE MY TRANSGRESSION!"

"Apology accepted." Trowa said. 

"If you had just TOLD us you liked bunny ears, we would have given them to you, willingly." Sally said gently before turning to Relena. "Make sure you get some kind of law for this. We don't want anymore upset bunnies."

"THEY MAY HAVE ACCEPTED YOUR APOLOGY, BUT I HAVEN'T!" the giant bunny laughed and stomped forward to attack Quatre.

"OH SHUT UP ALREADY!" Duo lost his temper and handed an equally upset Catherine his knife.

"I've heard enough!" Wufei drew his sword while Sally and Noin armed themselves with rocket launchers.

"FIRE!" Une ordered and knives, rockets, explosives, grenades, and other various sharp dangerous objects began showering the bunny.

"EEP! TAKE MY EASTER EGG BOMBS!" the pink horror fought back. But the brightly colored eggs were deflected right by Relena and her giant croquet mallet.

"FORE!" the 'peace-promoting' Vice-Minister screamed and whacked another egg back. 

"EEEEEEEEEKKKKK!!!" the bunny screamed as rotten yolks showered it.

"EHEHEHEHEHEHEH…" Heero suddenly began to laugh as he held up a self-destruct remote. "DIE!"

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZZZZZZZOOOOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDOOOOOOOOMMMMMMM!!!

In the end, the roaches that had once crawled over Dorothy's chocolate bunny desecrated the huge pink bunny.

"I love a happy ending!" the blonde woman exclaimed. "Now the day is truly wondrous! OH JOY TO MY LIFE!"

Quatre was forgiven for his crimes and wound up in bed with a stomachache, and Trowa watching over him. Lady Une gave up guarding chocolate bunnies, because let's just face it: it wasn't profitable. Relena and Dorothy enjoyed the rest of their Easter in a small, seaside café, eating fresh fish and ham for dinner. Unfortunately, the media got wind of this and soon the once innocent dinner suddenly changed into a not-so-innocent sex scandal. Heero and Duo returned home to their apartment where Heero proved once again he couldn't cook anything without throwing his 'essence of Duo' into the dish somewhere. Sally, Une, Catherine, and Noin dragged Wufei into town and right into a karaoke bar. Soon after that, the sounds of a drunk Wufei singing echoed through the night…

And so, Easter in the year AC 196 came to a close… with new life, came new… hobbies, for Wufei was forever hooked on karaoke. 

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JC: Well, that's about it! Happy Easter minna-san! 

Heero: That was horrible! Please R&R!

Duo: … Hee-chan, you are a terrible cook.

JC: Right, well, see ya later! Hope you had a fun Sunday! (goes to eat a ham sandwich) AAARRRRGGGGHHH!! WE ARE GONNA BE EATING THIS FOR A WHILE!


End file.
